I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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