What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
