Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
