I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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