Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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