Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
