I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
