I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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