all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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