In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize