Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize