Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
