my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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