So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you traded sex for a burrito?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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