I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
