Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
