you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
