"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
