I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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