I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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