In the future we'll all be gay
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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