no, he came in my armpit
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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