is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
