i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
