There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
