I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize