gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Come see our sink grown plant.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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