Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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