I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
