Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
