I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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