I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
