people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
