then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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