Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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