I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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