Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
