Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize