capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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