i may or may not be watching the land before time
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just want nice things and good sex
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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