I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
