you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
