So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He? As in you personified your dick?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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