a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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