dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
