look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
