I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
