Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
