Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
