paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
