do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
