So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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