Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
