franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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