he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
