WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
