I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
