my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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