you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
