My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
