According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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