...so i touched it.
I faked an abortion last night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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