i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
