Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
